Perfect Family Tales And Other Trivia

The art of the short-story writer is that of the cartoonist. It is the magical craft of creating entire worlds with a few simple strokes of a pen. Tales told by an idiot? Maybe! But my tales are also a mix of reality and fantasy; truth and lies; some based on my own family; others, not. Readers must guess which characters are real; who are inventions - and who are an amalgam of both. Please draw the boundaries for yourself.

Wednesday, 29 May 2013

‘Little Miss Know-All’

Bebe scrambled her way up to the highest stone in the rock garden and spread her arms wide.

“Daddy!” she yelled, “Now it’s my birthday and I’m four, I know everything.”  FFDO.BLOGHOP

“Ha, ha, my darling,” said Peter Stanley. “What exactly do you know?”

“Umm. I know I shouldn’t be up here on the rocks ‘coz Mummy says I could fall and get hurt. I know how to count to one hundred and say all the letters of the alphabet. I can also write my name.”

“You’re my clever, special birthday girl,” said Peter. “Anything else before I help you get down and give you a big hug and a kiss?”

“Yes, Daddy. I know  that my birthday treat will be a Barbie doll, a pizza and ice-cream at Poppa Pizza with you, Mummy, Grandma and Grandpa.”

“Is that it?”

“Erm, I don’t think so,” said Bebe. “I need to tell you that I don’t want tomato on my pizza.”

“Why’s that?” laughed her Dad.

“Well, Mummy gave me those little round tomatoes at dinner-time. She said they’re called ‘cherry tomatoes’ because of how they look and taste. But I don’t really like any tomatoes because of the bits they have on top. They scare me.

“Y’mean the stalks?”

“Umm, yes. They look like spiders and I hate spiders. Ugh! And there’s something else.”


“I told Mummy that yesterday when I was watching telly, I saw her through the window in the garden  talking to Greg next door. He has hairs under his nose which look like furry spider’s legs.”

“It isn’t nice to talk about how other people look, poppet. Try to say only kind things. O.K.?”

“But Daddy, I don’t know why Mummy got so mad when I said I saw Greg give her three of those little tomatoes from his house made of glass.”Little.Miss.Know.All

“I also don’t know why, honey. I’ll ask Mummy, if you like.”

“Was it ‘coz I said I saw him give her another one, from his mouth into hers and then their two mouths got sort of stuck together like twins? Y’know, Daddy, just like Aunty Tracy’s new babies. They’re so cute!”

Natalie Wood

(Copyright, Natalie Irene Wood – 29 May 2013)


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