PerfectlyWriteFamilyTales: In which I examine the difference between truth and fiction, great stories and downright lies!
Friday, 30 March 2012
Thursday, 29 March 2012
‘Easter Passion Killer Jailed For Life’
Easter Saturday March 25 1144
William, a 12-year-old apprentice
tanner of Norwich, East Anglia, England, was found dead in Thorpe Wood, a beauty spot on the eastern outskirts of the city.
William’s body was first discovered dressed only in a jacket and shoes, bearing strange wounds with a wooden gag pushed into his mouth.
Wednesday March 20 2013
(Eastern Daily Press Report)
“Easter ‘Paedo Killer’ Given ‘Whole Life’ Term”
“The notorious ‘Easter Passion’ killer was today jailed for the rest of his life.
“Roger Mason, 45, of Elm Hill, Norwich was convicted at Bristol Crown Court for the murder of 12-year-old Norwich resident, Walid Ibrahim in April last year.
“Mr Justice Field, summing up “one of the most difficult and painful cases of my career”, described Mason as a “remorseless and bestial sexual predator without conscience.”
“The case had received so much pre-trial media attention, both in Britain and overseas, that it was held in Bristol rather than Norwich to allow a fair hearing.
“The court heard that Mason, a part-time University of East Anglia lecturer with links to the University of Cambridge was apparently a contented family man with a 12-year-old son. But he had a secret life as a sexual predator.
“The police snatched thousands of pornographic pictures of young boys on several computers, both at his home and in his rooms at the UEA and also at Cambridge.
“Mason knew his victim, Walid Ibrahim, through his own son, Kevin as they were both pupils at Norwich School. When he spotted Walid at the Royal Arcade, Norwich, in the early evening of 02 April last year, he offered him a lift home. Instead, Mason took Walid to Thorpe Wood on the outskirts of the city where he raped and murdered him before subjecting the corpse to a mock crucifixion.
“What has made this case different from similar child sex-related murders is that Mason was also a member of several extreme neo-Fascist groups throughout Europe and the U.S. He viewed the murder of Walid as an attack on Moslem Arabs (although the boy was Christian) and a chance to implicate Jews in an ‘international conspiracy’.
“Mason took pictures of Walid’s corpse after the attack and posted them on several news-sites, even using his son’s Facebook account to spread the story.
“He was aided and abetted by Professor Theo Sutton, 48, a senior colleague at Corpus Christi College, Cambridge, who had seized the opportunity to wreak vengeance on the Jewish community into which he had been born but had grown to loathe.
“Sutton, of Madingley Road, Cambridge and 63-year-old Maria Hadley, a domestic of Earlham, Norwich who is also implicated in the affair, have not yet been sentenced. Their cases have been adjourned until after the Easter recess.”
Technorati Tags: #fridayflash,Flash Fiction,PerfectlyWriteFamilyTales,Another Passover Sacrifice,1144,Norwich,St William of Norwich,Jews,Ritual Murder,Passover,Thorpe Wood,Facebook,The Tannery,Easter,Norwich School,Norwich Hebrew Congregation,Christian Arabs,University East Anglia University Cambridge,Moslems
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This ‘flash’ is part of a story which appeared originally in Live Encounters magazine, edited by Mark Ulyseas.
- It was conceived and written before the recent murders at the Ozer HaTorah School in Toulouse, France and in no way relates to that incident. – N.I.W.
(Copyright, Natalie Irene Wood – 30 March 2012)
Friday, 16 March 2012
‘Eat Me’
Alice was on the late shift at The Mark Addy.
She wiped the bar, counted the final takings and stashed them in the safe.
“’Night!”. she called across to Steve. “See y’later!”
“See ya luv!”
And as Alice left The Addy, she picked up her bag and smoothed her top over her jeans.
Her favourite plain white tank top.
Just tight enough to show her curves.
Just enough sauce for bar room banter.
Just two words.
“Eat me!” smirked the slogan.
And Arnie, spotting Alice turn into New Bailey Street, slowed his car.
Just offered her a lift with ‘just a bite to eat’.
Alice fetched up just three days later in the River Irwell. Not even Mark Addy could save her.
Just another story for the Manchester Evening News.
“That’s just life,” said the famous Salford pub’s tap room philosopher.
So just who’s got the t-shirt now?
Technorati Tags: #fridayflash,Flash Fiction,PerfectlyWriteFamilyTales,'Eat Me',Mark Addy,Mark Addy Pub,Salford,Manchester Evening News,T-Shirt
Natalie Wood
(Copyright, Natalie Irene Wood – 15 March 2012)
Tuesday, 13 March 2012
‘Riding In Cars With Cows’
“Hello Daisy, my dear,” soothed Giles. “Are you all right?
“I do hate to disappoint you”, he murmured, stroking her neck. “I was looking forward so much to seeing you dressed up for our special day.”
“Mr Cameron, the Prime Minister, seemed to think it would be O.K and after he announced his plans for gay marriage, many couples like us were sure we’d also be allowed to have a ‘real’ marriage.
“But that old sourpuss, Catholic Cardinal Keith O'Brien says the idea is ‘grotesque’ and a ’subversion of a universally accepted human right’. So it seems we can’t go ahead after all.
“What about our rights? In fact, what about the ‘rights’ of the children who have been abused by so-called celibate priests all down the years? Isn’t what they’ve done – and do – also bad?
“I don’t understand what goes on. None of it seems fair. Only today, I heard that Dartmoor ponies stabled near us are going to be given the pill. I wonder who’s got them into trouble? I promise it wasn’t me, my darlin’. You know I’ve only got eyes for you!”
Daisy looked up trustingly with her own huge brown eyes. She liked Giles stroking and nuzzling her.
“Never mind, Giles. It won’t stop us going on as usual. No-one has to know if we don’t tell them.”
“No,” said Giles, soberly removing Daisy’s bells, ribbons and veil. “Tell you what, though, we have got a few minutes before milking. What do you think …?
“Ooh, Giles. You know how to make me feel wanted,” said Daisy. “But I’ve got to tell you a secret. The ponies aren’t the only ones in the family way.”
“Aw, that’s amazing,” said Giles as they lay embracing in the straw. “I wonder who the kids will take after.”
----------------
Edward loved cars. But he didn’t go to major rallies or trudge around the annual car shows. He was never impressed with the bikini clad dollies who helped to show off the manufacturers’ wares.
For Edward Smith, the cars were the dolls – right down to their irresistible tail-pipes.
“‘My Spice Girls – ‘Vanilla’, ‘Ginger’ and ‘Cinnamon’ - I can’t get enough of – them,” he told the Washington Observer in an exclusive interview.
“What’s more”, said US-based Edward, who enjoys a rare affliction named mechaphilia”, “I’m so desperate for my Vanilla that I’m going to marry her.”
He added: “When I heard how the U.K. was planning to allow same-sex religious marriage, my horn began to blow – big time.
“Not much longer now, my sweet Beetle,” I told Vanilla. “I’m going to make an honest woman of you and keep you at home where I can watch over you. I don’t want you on skid row with any old Rover.”
But he’s a fine one to talk. Before he settled down with Vanilla, Smith, now aged 61, got to know more strange cars than most of us have slid hot dip-sticks. His favourite memory is his one-night stand with the helicopter from the 1980s TV hit Airwolf. “I have deep, romantic feelings for her. Even now,” he admits.
Mr Smith still hopes that the international clergy will relent and allow anyone to marry anything they want in the sight of God.
“It’s a basic human right”, he later told the famous UK motoring journalist, Jeremy Clarkson. “As soon as it’s allowed, Vanilla and I will race down the aisle like Bluebird. Would you and Richard like to come?
“Perhaps you both have already?” he added impishly.
Technorati Tags: #fridayflash,Flash Fiction,PerfectlyWriteFamilyTales,'Riding In Cars With Cows,Bestiality,'Mechaphilia',Same-Sex Marrage,David Cameron,Cardinal Keith O'Brien,Edward Smith,Jeremy Clarkson,Bluebird
Natalie Wood
(Copyright, Natalie Irene Wood – 15 March 2012)
Thursday, 1 March 2012
‘Haman’s Ears’
“Charles, please sit down.”
“What is it, Diana? I want to rehearse my speech for tomorrow.”
“Charles, please. The Royal Society of Busy Bodies can wait. My guess is that in truth you want to practise some ‘pillow talk’. But never mind. This is important to us both as it will be one of the last times we may speak privately as man and wife.
“Today I visited Mr Julius at Mishcon de Reya solicitors and our divorce proceedings have begun.”
“Well?”
“As we started talking, his P A brought us coffee and a selection of cakes which included some unusual, triangular sweet pastries.
“Despite my overly-publicised eating disorder, Mr Julius persuaded me to taste one to help him to illustrate a point of law. He explained the cakes are a delicacy - popularly named ‘Haman’s Ears’ - which are eaten during the Jewish festival of Purim – a sort of carnival day.
“The occasion celebrates the rescue of the entire Jewish community of Persia (modern day Iran) from extermination at the hands of Haman, the wicked First Minister at the Court of King Xerxes. The tale ends with Haman and his sons being hanged for treason on gallows destined for a high-ranking Jew named Mordechai, uncle to Xerxes’s chief concubine, Queen Esther.
“’This is a terrific story of which I remember something from Sunday School. But what has this to do with my divorce?’, I asked Mr Julius.”
“Quite!”
“Mr Julius may appear an aloof individual. But he patted me on the shoulder to assure me that my head remains secure, so to speak, despite my relationship with James and the United Kingdom laws of High Treason.”
“Don’t be ridiculous! But don’t think for one moment that in an earlier age you would have got off Scott free for your conduct.”
“And what about you? You may have not committed an offence against your mother …”
“How dare you? You mean ‘The Queen’!”
“ … Don’t interrupt me, please … By George you did start it. And ever since, you have betrayed me, our marriage – and humiliated the boys.
“If only for them, I fantasise about seeing the most pathetic part of you stuck on a 20 foot spike above Westminster Hall. But that won’t happen either!
“The world says we’ve both behaved badly and that Wills and Harry have suffered most in this horrid mess. The world is right. My greatest fear is who would really – tenderly - watch over them if anything happened to me.”
“Have you finished now? I need to go.”
“Almost. Soon after I arrived home, a large, stylish box arrived addressed to them with a note for me. It was from Anthony Julius.
The box was bursting with ‘Haman’s Ears’. The boys spent the afternoon after school racing round the garden and back in here wolfing those ‘great Jewish biscuits’. Thank goodness nothing bad will happen today.”
Technorati Tags: #fridayflash,Flash Fiction,PerfectlyWriteFamilyTales,Purim,Haman's Ears,Diana,Charles,The Queen,High Treason,Anthony Julius,Mishcon de Reya
Natalie Wood
(Copyright, Natalie Irene Wood – 02 March 2012)
- Wishing all my fellow Jewish readers a Purim Sameach – a happy Purim - from Wednesday evening to Thursday evening, 07 – 08 March. – N.I.W.
‘Strange Fire’
Rabbi Silverstein was feeling quite uncomfortable.
Mimi Ruben, a teenage girl on the back-row, kept asking him daft questions which bore no relation to his latest book.
“Was there any evidence of female circumcision among the ancient Hebrews?
“Could the concept of the Shechina – the feminine aspect of the Almighty – be construed as idolatrous?
“Secular food publications often referred to ‘kosher’ salt. Why did non-Jews eat it?
“As it is forbidden to use a computer on the Sabbath, did he (the rabbi) ever write things down in his head?”
Yonah Silverstein avoided addressing women’s groups. It was considered ill-advised for a strictly Orthodox rabbi to mingle with women, even in public.
But he had agreed to meet the Derby Jewish Women’s Literary Society to promote An Alternative Orthodox View Of Progressive Judaism.
This was to placate his publisher and to please the group’s senior president, Eva Gluck, who was widely revered for her knowledge of Tenach – the Hebrew bible.
But now he had to quieten this infant trouble-maker who had fairly frozen the others present into abject silence.
“My dear young lady, I appreciate your enthusiastic attendance so I’ll refrain from asking why you are here on a school day.
“Instead I’ll tell you about myself. At your age, my late father regularly beat me for reading secular books. These included the works of the 18th century English poet, Alexander Pope who wrote: ‘A little learning is a dangerous thing.’
“Your questions have been pert – which I’ll define as ‘high spirited’; but they have not been pertinent – relevant to our discussion. Indeed, they have been impertinent – quite improperly bold in their line of thought. Moreover, they have been expressed before ladies who have a thousand times your knowledge and life-experience.
“But as I find you a challenge, Miss Rubin, I’ll offer you one. Please make an appointment to see me here at synagogue where I may better answer some of the conundrums you have posed.”
Mimi blushed red-hot. “Thank you so much, Rabbi.
“But I thought that you offer private interviews only to people like my brother, Sammy who says he’s gay.”
But as the chairman, Mrs Freeson rose to short-circuit the affair, Mr Johnson, the caretaker came in and passed her a note.
“Ladies,” she said. “We must vacate the premises. The Sabbath kettle has inexplicably blown and badly scorched the surrounding kitchen worktop. Mr Johnson assures us that he has cleaned the area and has ordered a health and safety check for tomorrow. Meanwhile, he suggests we leave immediately.”
As the crowd shuffled in a daze towards the entrance, the rabbi lingered.
“Ladies”, he called after Mrs Gluck and Mrs Freeson. “I’m sorry to ask you both to stay. But it appears that even in synagogue, a man must always be seen to be chaperoned when with women.
“As you are both family friends - and you, Mrs Gluck, are a noted Torah scholar - I’m taking you into my confidence. I shouldn’t quote from secular sources, but I am forced to say this once: “there are more things in heaven and earth …”
Mrs Gluck chuckled despite herself.
“Ha! Rabbi, please pardon some further impertinence – this time from an old girl.
“As you and Mrs Freeson both know, the Torah portion to be read in synagogue this coming Sabbath includes the story of Aaron’s sons, Nadav and Avihu and how they were killed by God’s fire for sacrificing their own without His permission.
“Some interpretations suggest that their sin had been that of trying to outperform the Almighty at His most glorious. They were guilty – unwittingly perhaps – of spiritual hubris.
“We know that the Almighty describes Himself as a ‘jealous God’ and as a perceived threat to His power, Nadav and Avihu had to be summarily executed.
“Our little Mimi reminds me harshly of my teenage self. So with her mother’s permission I will take her in hand, bringing her version of Heaven very much to earth. The first thing she’ll learn is not to play with ‘strange fire’.”
Technorati Tags: #fridayflash,Flash Fiction,PerfectlyWriteFamilyTales,'Strange Fire',Torah,Tenach,Sedra Sh'mini
Natalie Wood
(Copyright – Natalie Irene Wood, 02 March 2012).
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