“It’s carnage!” cried Police official, Luc Poignard.
“Oui! That’s showbiz!” yelled the Islamic angel of death. “You’re the ‘dagger’ I see before me and the Prophet has been avenged.
“Indeed, M. Policier, the diabolical humour in the meaning of your name is not lost on us. And if you think that’s funny, please remember how in 2011 we gutted Hebdo’s H. Q. after it dared to mock the Prophet Muhammad on its filthy infidel front cover. Another evil prank.
“Then a year later, again they tested our temper with more defaming, degrading cartoons. Don’t let Hebdo tell us that our Prophet is not sacred and that its scapegrace editor does not follow Sharia law.
“The first is - and the other will – or else! We, the self-appointed guardians of Islam will persist in showing everyone who’s boss, even if we must terrorize, murder and otherwise obliterate all that gets in our way.
“By the way, before we part company, I have to tell you about something that happened earlier this week which really was most amusing:
“An unknown Labour Party woman politician from the English provinces hit the headlines simply for publishing a fake version of a rival Conservative Party poster showing the entrance to Auschwitz Concentration Camp. Remember? It was the place where the Nazis murdered millions of people – mostly Jews.
“She’s been suspended by her party. But I can’t think why. It was a great joke and only about scummy, sleaze-bag Jews. British people have no sense of humour. And that’s their loss”.
Author’s note: The title of the magazine Hebdo is the shortened form of hebdomadaire and means ‘weekly magazine’.
(© Natalie Irene Wood – 07 January 2015)